Finding your Authentic Self


I have this struggle every day. I live in existence rather than living with purpose. Don’t get me wrong, there are some wonderful  people and things that have a great deal of meaning in my life, that give me purpose, but I’m not in alignment quite yet. The actions I take to follow my genuine self make me happy and fill my heart. I know this, because when I am doing them, my heart glows and I feel it emanating from my every pore. However, when I am going against my soul and not listening to my inner self, I can immediately sense the inner struggle and angst. Some people fill this with drugs or for me I fill it with apathy and food.

The path to happiness is to align who you are with what you do. Granted there are some things you just cannot change, like having to do the dishes, but if the rest of your life is in alignment, dishes are not as much of a chore.  1.Your authentic self is the unique combination of all your qualities including your skills, abilities, interests, talents, limits, insights, experiences, memories, beliefs, purpose, and wisdom. It is the expression of your core values through all your quirks and your strengths. Our authentic nature may best be revealed by how we enjoy playing—by what it is we most enjoy doing simply for our own pleasure—at any age. There are things you can change to make your life line up better with who you are. For example, if you have always been creative, but never let yourself do creative things, find an outlet for that creativity, surround yourself with creative people or study up on it. You can find your own outlet to happiness in the simplest places. Just examine what makes you glow and go!

2. In Don Miguel Ruiz‘s book The Four Agreements, he explains that the best way to transform
into who you really are, you should:

  1. Be impeccable with your word. Carefully examine what you tell yourself, what you tell others, and when you decide to speak. Use your word consistently to express and strengthen your values. Don’t employ or overlook factual errors, fallacies or, distortions during communications. Express yourself authentically. Earn trust. Do what you say.
  2. Don’t take anything personally. It’s not all about you. Reject the fallacy of personalization. Rely confidently on your own well-founded self-concept; it is the only evaluation of your worth that matters. Challenge and balance your first-person viewpoint.
  3. Don’t make assumptions. Suspend judgment. Readily acknowledge what you don’t know and have the courage to ask questions. Carefully examine the evidence. Don’t attribute intent to others. Retain a healthy skepticism as you avoid cynicism. Develop, refine, and constantly apply your own well-founded theory of knowledge.
  4. Always do your best. Do all you can while you recognize you can’t do it all. All you can do is all you can do. When you have truly done your best, there is no reason for shame. It’s ok to goof off if you do your best when it matters the most. Apply your time and effort toward your well-chosen and enduring goals.

The ways to find your authentic self:

  • Know yourself-what you can change, what you cannot.
  • Know your personal beliefs and core values
  • Understand what guides you throughout your life
  • Know your personal strengths and use them to find your true self
  • Have the courage to acknowledge your limitations and embrace your vulnerability
  • Be humble and content in each moment even if it not to your liking, being negative will not propel you in a positive direction
  • Integrate who you are with what you do in a very thoughtful way
  • Express yourself authentically. Do what you say. Do who you are.

Know yourself. That means to truly know what you can change about the core of who you are and what you cannot. You cannot change your health, for the most part, but you can change the way you eat and take care of  yourself. You may know that you have attractions towards the same sex or that you find food irresistible. That’s something you can’t change but it should be acknowledged. Weather you act upon your feelings, is entirely up to you. That may or may not coincide with your core beliefs or self image. Knowing what your core beliefs are puts eveything in perspective,, your surroundings. Do they reflect who you are and what you do? Embrace who your authentic self is, even if it is not currently in line with what you do. You may have a strong belief in God, but not in a particular religion. Going to a certain church may or may not coincide with your belief system, depending on how deeply in line it is with yours own faith. The scary part is knowing that some parts of ourselves are so different from what we put out into the world that we are afraid to even let it see the light of day. We all suffer from conflicting problems but at the core is who you are and you must first love and accept that person before you can move forward and find peace.
Know your personal strengths and use them to find your true self. If you are creative, surround yourself with creative people. Understand what guides you throughout your life. This will lead you in the right direction. As “they” say, follow your heart. Know your personal beliefs and core values. That is your gut instinct talking to you. Listen to it, abide by it. Be who you are with integrity. Just as important, know who you are NOT. Have the courage to acknowledge your limitations and embrace your vulnerability. Be humble and content in each moment even if it not to your liking, being negative will not propel you in a positive direction. Blend who you are with what you do in a very thoughtful way. Take some time to reflect on who you are and how you can harmonize with it in your journey. Remember that kid you once were, without self prejudice and a lot of big dreams? Acknowledge them and follow that heart. Express yourself authentically. Do what you say. Do who you are. and love yourself through it all.

References

  1. emotionalcompetency.com
  2. The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

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