10. I like fantasizing he’s a woman in bed, it keeps my creativity working at full throttle.
It doesn’t help that he’s good looking and lacks man boobs, yet still I fantasize.
9. I haven’t bought my combat boots and pride flag yet.
Okay, maybe I already have them but they are stuffed in my closet somewhere….
8. Who would wash his underpants?
7. I haven’t done enough research on what a lesbian is…
there’s still hope I could just be facing a mid-life crisis…
(Ha ha ha, If this is a mid life crisis, I’ve been aware of it since age 10 or therabouts.)
Can you blame him? I would too if I were him, might as well go out in a bang!
5. He’ll try to steal my girlfriend
Actually, he’s pretty mellow, he’ll probably just keep hinting that I should share her. (See number 6.)
4. I haven’t decided what color lipstick I need to be a lipstick lesbian.
At any rate I’ll go with Cover girl… Go Ellen!
3. I’d have to tell people that I like girls and you know what that means…
Mullets and cats…and a future episode on hoarders…in that order
2. I don’t think I should have to explain why chicks are hotter than dudes
He’s not with a dude…need I say more?
1. To shave or not to shave…
We all know it’s true. If I want to be a lesbian I must start listening to Jonie Mitchell, grow out my armpit hair like a European on vacation and drink a ton of foreign beer. I’m just contemplating if I can give up the razor and truly enjoy a follicle enriched life.
Joking aside, I am freaking out about what to say to my husband. I write these because I’m trying to laugh instead of cry. I picture my pretty little life just getting washed down the drain and scarring everyone in the process. I just hope that he loves me enough to let me go. It hurts even saying that. I really do love him, but I feel like the woman I am is no longer the woman he married. He deserves more. I deserve more from myself.