So, I know that tragedy sometimes opens some unexpected doors. I will be traveling to new England for my grandmothers funeral this upcoming Friday and I found out that Pride will be going on all weekend long there. This is where I first really discovered the appreciation of gay culture and clubs outside of backyard picnics with my Aunt and her friends. I used to go out to the clubs all the time with my best friend prior to getting married. I was hoping to meet a woman who would sweep me away and show me the ropes. Instead I got married and moved to the South. How far away from being gay could I get.
So now I’m coming back to Providence. I think revisiting my past in so many aspects may help me to define what I want for the future. I miss New England. I miss my family. I’m wondering if this was some sort of neatly planned moment I was just made aware of. That I was supposed to return to see something or experience something. I’m not big on predetermined destiny, but I think there is something to small moments that turn you from one direction to the next.
Hopefully I will have some time to find both closure and an open door. I need some time to just exist and collect myself. Even in the din of all that is going on, I will be away from myself for maybe just long enough to figure out my next move.