Gay and lesbian Role models

I was wondering what it would have been like if my aunt would’ve come out during my adolescence. I wonder what would have happened if I had more of a homosexual role model so to speak. She was sort of a I recluse and didn’t really speak of her sexuality at all but it was ever present. She was a sergeant in the army and then retired. Her mannerisms all directed you to the fact that she was a dyke. she dressed manly had two very long-term girlfriends but it was never addressed directly. Throughout my childhood I was wondering exactly what was going on. I really didn’t care one way or the other I just was confused. I guess she was too.
She was brought up in an era where you want supposed to be gay and it was not accepted at any level especially being a lesbian. There were no role models to speak of anybody who might be a lesbian wouldn’t have come out hell they don’t even come out now. The stigma attached to being gay is still ever present. A woman is considered in some “phase” if she gets a girlfriend. I’m not sure if queen Latifa ever came out but it’s almost a fact that she’s a lesbian. Ellen took the brunt of it when she finally decided to publicly come out but look at her now. She’s so much better for it. The best part is, it’s pretty much a non-point now. Because really, you don’t see people confessing to be hetero. For me, having these role models present makes the other side of my ordeal not such an ordeal. The thought of life after I come out is refreshing and motivating. If they can do it, why can’t I?

I also have several blogger role models that I’d like to thank. Thier stories are inspiring and keep me going through the quagmire that is my life. First there’s angryricky. He is so supportive and writes a great deal about his experiences in coming out along with a myriad of other stuff. His insight is perceptive and forthright. I appreciate his honesty and hope he keeps blogging for a long time. Then there is singlein2012 and rachelsemancipation. Both are strong women who have come to terms with their sexuality, leaving their husbands and completely changing their lives to fulfill who they truly are. I find solace in their stories even if they aren’t perfect endings, they are exceptional beginnings.
I know the road I’m on isn’t easy but at least I know I have some wonderful role models to look to for support. There are also people in my “real” life who are struggling with a similar situation and we share our thoughts. It’s a bit easier to walk this path knowing I have the strength in support. If you are in the same situation, know that you are not alone. Reach out


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  1. Chica…while I so appreciate the kudos, you should know that I should never be considered a role model for anyone! I have a blog post forming in my head – it started forming before you posted this actually – that speaks to that I think. It speaks to my utter lack of direction anyway.

    But you know what? I fucking HAD gay role models! My aunt was out and loud and proud when I was a kid. One of my mother’s favorite stories about me is when I was two and got in some much older kid’s face declaring that yes, in fact, two women CAN get married. So I’ve been trying to puzzle out why it took me so damn long. But that’s probably a blog post for another day.

    You’ll do alright, chica. I can tell from here. It’s going to be hard, but you’ll make it.

    • Why am i not surprised? lol. I think for myself it was just plain self homophobia. EVERYONE could be gay, just not me. What would people think? I still have that fear, especially given current circumstances. I appreciate your kind words. I’ll see you on the other side! 😉

      • Ha! Yes, something like that. Everyone else can be gay, just not me. Plus, I was never, ever attracted to the girl who everyone assumed I was dating in high school. Nor was I attracted to the girl who asked me out in high school. I was attracted to one girl – but she freaked out after we kissed once and ran away to boys. But it’s funny, I never really thought about whether I was gay – I never really pondered that kiss or my dashed hopes for what would come next. I wonder why?

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