Someone asked me what the point of my blog was. Do I give people advice on how to come out to their spouses or their kids? Do I sway women to come out or stay closeted. Do I offer ways to come out? The answer is no. I have come out to my husband to a certain degree, but it is more of a process than anything. My children have no idea, because 1. they are too young and 2. nothing is changing as of yet, so why go there? I am not a therapist or a psychologist. I don’t know your story, I only know mine.
I guess the point of my blog is to be the voice for those of us who aren’t ready to open up and admit either to themselves, to their loved ones or to the world about who they truly are. It’s for the people too afraid, just coming to terms with, dealing with or very out about their sexuality and how it has affected their life. But why stop there? I guess it can be a tool for husbands who need insight into what is going on in their wife’s life. It is a friend to those who finally realize they are not perfect and guess what, they don’t have to be. I’m certainly not. I cry in the shower. I forget to follow the rules. I miss appointments. I laugh at funerals in lieu of crying. I scream at the car in front of me when he rides his brakes. I yell at my kids and say inappropriate things almost in spite of myself. We all are imperfect and I guess this blog is really about celebrating that. About being the raw true selves we need to be and admit that it’s ok.
It’s ok to freak out a bit. It’s ok to like girls or guys or both. You are still a good person. You will still be loved. Life will go on. The sun will still shine tomorrow. My blog will still be here. I hope. Things do get better and to steal a line from AA, take one day at a time. Take baby steps to becoming the true you. I know I am and I feel so much better than I did a year ago.
I don’t know what my life will be a year from now, but I know that as long as I live each day to the fullest and to honor myself every day, that it can only get better. I hope that you too can find more love to give yourself and see the doors opening before you to brighter things. Doors can be open but nothing gets you to the other side except that first step. Take it. I dare you.