I am the worst wife ever. I don’t notice his hair cut. I don’t kiss him hello. I barely acknowledge him when I come home. It amazes me how loving and faithful he is in spite of my indifference.
I feel though, that if I respond in any way it might be construed as some signal for sex. I talked to him about potentially getting a gf and he took it as foreplay. I made the mistake of once telling him that doing the dishes and helping around the house is a sort of “foreplay,” from that moment on any time he shoved some dishes in the dishwasher he expected some “favor” in return. It don’t work that way buddy boy.
I’m just tired of being his wife with benefits, except he’s getting most of the bennies. I feel bad. I hate that I have such resentment. I hate that anytime he gets insecure he wants to do it even more. I hate that I’m so put off by his advances. There’s no romance. There’s no spark. Just sex. For him.
Right now I’m staying up entirely too late so I can crawl into bed. Hopefully he’ll be sleeping by then. Hopefully my kid won’t miss the bus again. Hopefully I grow the hell up and figure my shit out.