The lesbian erotica incident

We all strive to protect our children’s innocence because once it is lost, it will never be recovered. I constantly battle with my husband to keep his wandering hands and comments at bay when my children are present. He struggles to understand how much they pick up on. I, on the other hand, try to assure that they do not walk in on anything inappropriate. I also must confess to my angst at all the groping and am almost ashamed to be relieved from it by an “intruding” child. Thankfully, he has gotten better or I have become stronger in my assertions to knock it off. I’m hoping it’s a bit of both.

I decided to get my daughter a Kindle for Christmas. She is an avid book reader and is constantly on my husbands Nook. I figured it would be something I could easily monitor and use to reward her, by buying more books and apps for good behavior and help around the house. She was thrilled when she opened it up. I immediately started to register the device to my Amazon account and then our internet went down. As i began to scroll the options, I noticed that the only book on my “cloud server” was now waiting on the Kindle’s “bookshelf.” To my horror, it was lesbian erotica. I was mortified. No one had yet asked to see the Kindle, but my heart was racing. Shit! Shit! Shit! What kind of mommy downloads lesbian porn onto their baby’s Kindle? The kicker was, it had suggestions of other naughty books spanning the bottom.
I put the Kindle up and constantly checked my phone for the wifi to work again. Fortunately the kids had plenty of other Christmas booty to keep them occupied. My real concern was my husband. I was just sweating bullets waiting for him to ask to see it and then watch his face as he sees the contents in the book section. The book even has a disclaimer about having a “strap-on scene'” ARGH!!!!!!

Finally my internet woke the hell up. I then went to Amazon to delete the scandalous book but lo and behold, it would not delete it, not even from the trash. So there it sat on her Kindle. Laughing at me. Teasing me. Waiting for my husband to discover it. How the hell could I give this thing back to my kid with porn on it? That wasn’t gonna happen. How the fuck do I explain that one to my husband? Think. Think. Think.

AHA! Delete all and open a new Amazon account! Halleluiah! Porn is gone. It’s free of mommy’s naughty side. Holy hell averted…

About the post

gay issues/ news, Noteworthy, Self Discovery


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  1. OMG! Thats a riot!! Phew… quick thinking! Nice one mom!

  2. Same problem here. I HATE clouds. Clouds are the enemy when you share a computer or accounts with your children. I have Amazon Prime, which the whole family will use to watch movies. Based on my previous movies, Amazon is ALWAYS suggesting other lesbian-centric ones. Thankfully, my kids are older so they just roll their eyes and complain about “mom’s lesbo shows.” Still embarrassing!

  3. Fix not fox. Blame the wine at dinner for my bad typing.

  4. That would be my luck! I accidentally forgot to delete a picture from my phone that’s said “Stay Calm and Be a Lesbian”…luckily I found it before he did.

  5. You’re brilliant. Way to keep things under control. It’s better to choose when to come out than to have it happen accidentally.

    So once, my wife and I ran into each other outside the bedroom closet, and things suddenly started to get rather interesting, when suddenly my four-year-old walks in and shouts, “Look, Mommy and Daddy! There’s a light in the closet! I can turn it on and off!” Did not notice the two parents fucking directly between his eyes and the closet light.

  6. Interesting blog. Thanks for following mine!

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