The dream… (Over 18 please…)

Blonde Suicide girl
Yummy Suicide girl=naughty wife?

I was flirting incessantly with this platinum blonde waif. We had a very hot connection and the erotic energy consumed us both. It was as if our electricity was emitting and dancing between us, like the science shows with the two Van De Graaff towers. I could feel the static dance inside me and my body was responding with intense rushes. My hips were aching and I could see her writhe in anticipation. I grabbed her and we ran into my cold room, grabbing at each other, tearing off clothes and kissing each other as if each kiss were breathing us back to life. It was like my world was being resuscitated. The room went from a cold and billowy blue to shades of red and and fiery orange. Her eyes flashed as I nibbled her sweet lips. I laid her down and began to explore her. I felt her soft and pale breasts warm and flush pink with anticipation. She twirled my hair as her lips kept wanting more of mine. My hands traced slowly down her stomach, caressing her anxious hips. I plunged my finger softly between her legs. Her hands feverishly responded in return. I felt so warm and ready. She let out a sigh. I rocked her, coaxing her to climax. Her face reddened as I began to work my way down the curve of her breasts. She was so quiet, yet I could feel her body respond so loudly. It was all so secret, yet we were so exposed.
I’m still lying in bed, alone and still reveling in my accomplishment when my husband walks in. He can sense a change in me. The room turns cold and blue again. I get so concerned that he will realize how much I truly enjoyed the encounter with the woman that I concede to sleep with him. But instead he gets on top of me and proceeds to make me give him oral sex. He then makes me swallow and I am in all but tears as I do so. (THIS IS ALL JUST A DREAM, HE NEVER HAS FORCED ME TO DO ANYTHING THAT I DIDN’T SAY YES TO. I DIDN’T ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH SOME BLONDE CHICK. I REPEAT, THIS IS JUST A DREAM I HAD.) I am so ashamed of the prior act that I endure this act of dominance. I also felt like I needed to alleviate any jealousy he might have had. I was nauseous and felt that way as he woke me from my dreams. He cupped my boobs and then asked for sex. I said no. I was already sick of him from my erotic/evil dream, I couldn’t put up with a real version, even if he wasn’t the bad guy that he played in the dream. Somewhere in my brain, he still held an element of that guy in him and I was repelled by it.

I wish I could have just enjoyed the dream without my damn conscience getting in the way. It’s not cheating if you’re just dreaming it, dammit! I hate it that in the midst of having fun with her, he moves in and makes it all about him. Which is strange because in real life he is a very considerate lover once you get past the fact that he wants it ALL THE TIME. It’s very draining, especially when you are no longer motivated to provide it.

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Self Discovery


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  1. Oh hon… I started reading this and thinking how wonderfully erotic and beautiful (and yes, hot) and then yes, the other part, the reflection of your guilt and feelings of obligation. I imagine this constant battle IS draining. All you can do is keep working through it as you have….

  2. Wow. What a heartbreaking post. I hope you find what you need soon…I’m rooting for you.

      • Hi!
        I have been trying to leave you a comment for the past hour…not sure what I am doing wrong.. I have been reading your site for a while and it is unbelievable how close our stories are.
        I know how you feel and I can totally relate to your angst. I can tell you that it is really awesome on the other side. I finally left my husband and even though I have had zero interaction with women, just having the space to figure it all out has been an amazing ride.
        I would love to e-mail you. I do not wish to lay all my personal stuff out for all to see but would love to chat and try to help in anyway. If interested let me know. :-).


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