Here’s a helpful guide to coming out. I know it oversimplifies it to an extent, but it’s a start. You really can never be prepared for the ignorant relative or the angst ridden partner, but at least this will give you a starting point. I hope you find this useful and/or inspiring. I wrote a blog on the 12 steps to self acceptance. I think coming to terms with being gay sometimes is harder than actually coming out, but I guess that also depends on who you are coming out to.
I’m in a funk right now. There’s a small stream of creativity that’s replaced the rapids that used to flowed from my mind. I am barely able to write or utter thoughts worth writing. I’m eating like the fat is somehow going to protect me from the world. I feel very raw and bare, but at the same time, as I come to terms with who I am, the cool air hits and heals these fresh places that were hiding and festering for so long. I’m afraid of what’s to come with my husband. I have other issues with him that I’d rather not put on here for public consumption, but sufficed to say, we need to deal with those things before we can move on in a healthy fashion.
There are so many reasons we keep ourselves closeted, but usually it’s because we are so afraid to come to terms with who we are. It takes an amazing amount of time to accept the person inside, beause of so many factors. You may have been put down or beaten up your whole life. You may have been unabashedly loved and are afraid to burst the bubble of your perceived “perfection.” Whatever the cause, just know that you will be loved for who you are. There will always be people on the other side of your “out.” Some will be the same, many will be new and deeper friendships. It’s easier to become close when those walls are finally taken down.
There is no right time, just do it in your own time, when you are ready. You will know. And don’t be surprised when people say they already knew. You cannot completely hide who you are from everyone, especially those who love you. Good luck to you, and from the many who have come out before you, it will be ok. I’ve come out to my husband with the fact that I’m bi, and he seems ok, so far. I think I’m gay, but that’s news for another day. I’m finding my moments as they come. As a beautiful friend once told me, we don’t care if you ever come out, we love you for who you are. So love your beautiful self, take your time in finding your own acceptance and come out when it suits you.
Found this video on queerlandia.com. They have an amazing bunch of writers and I suggest you follow them if you don’t already.
- A valuable source for closeted, recently out and openly gay men. (andbitchyknew.wordpress.com)
- Exorcised For Being Gay (huffingtonpost.com)
- Mia Norton: Coming Out To My Homophobic Mother As A Straight Ally (huffingtonpost.com)
- Coming Out: An Epic Journey of Epic Proportions (alexvssociety.wordpress.com)
- Clive Davis comes out of the closet! (loft965.com)