I admit it, I was perusing Craigslist today. My desperation for soft skin and perfumed hair lead me to the last stop on desperation highway. Ok, it’s not really that bad but many of the ads are reeking of quiet sadness and apathy. I can see the depth in which these people will go to reach out and in some cases I feel the urge to reach right back. I rarely ever see any that would make me respond. Most are looking for their 20 something BFF for dryhumping at the club followed by drunken tequila kisses. Which, don’t get me wrong, can be a really beautiful thing, it’s just not my scene. Then there are the BBW girls. Um, I just know that it means big and I’m pretty sure my curves don’t qualify me for that category nor am I usually attracted to really big people in general. Its just how I roll. Don’t hate. So then that leaves the tried and true lesbians who normally want a real relationship by the time she’s putting her shit on Craigslist, so she’s out and then finally the married “curious” ladies like myself. Half of them want their boyfriend or hubby to be involved, ummm no thanks. I’ve already got a dick on my shoulder, I don’t need another one. Plus he’s pretty gifted, even if its man sex, its pretty damn good. I don’t think any other man could hit that bar, only the touch of a woman could surpass it.
So I’ve been thinking, if I were to write an ad, this is probably what it would say:
Searching for my muse
Are you my muse? Can you saturate the colors in my world again? Can you brighten the skies with your smile and change a day by appearing in it? Will you hold my hand and brush my hair back and tell me it’s ok when the world gets tough? Will you kick me out of the bed and push me to be a better person? Will the sway of your hips, the curve of your smile and the way you hold your head up make me desire you with abandon? Will you make me swoon and drool and act a mess when I try so hard to just be cool? Do you want someone who wants intelligent conversations speckled with stupid ones filled with humor and raunchy sarcasm? Do you want curves for days, sensuality for miles and someone who would worship you from the tips of your toes to fingers running through your hair? I am there. I will be your muse too. I will keep the sun shining when it rains or ill just pull down the shade. I want to inspire you to live and love the life we are in.
So, what do you think?
This isn’t a pic of me, nor would I wear lingerie in a personal ad, but she’s sexy and kinda looks like a little bit bigger version of me.