I just have to say I’m addicted to “The L Word.” It’s consuming me in so many ways. I want to dive into their world and hang out with them in spite of the fact that they are all way too skinny. I am only in season one on Netflix but I am already crushing on the Tennis pro because she’s so awkward yet hot, Shane because she’s so damn confident and I’m loving the aggressiveness and sexy accent of the coffee shop owner, Marina. These are all people I relate to.
I also relate to the sad Jenny for her deep desire to be with women. Her love for Tim made her so torn and I truly understand that to a depth of which most don’t comprehend unless you are in a similar situation. I don’t relate to her “who ever will take me in” approach. If I decided to be with someone, I would be with them. I wouldn’t wobble between two people. I never have.
I know, I know, everyone in the world is by now, watching season 5 or 6 by now. I’m still on season 1. I was afraid to watch it before and then get called out on it. And then I did get called out on it. He asked me if I was jumping the fence cause I started watching that show. I told him again that I’m more on the side of lesbian than just bi, and he was the only guy I’d ever want again. (Not in a splitting up sort of way.) I told him I like women and if we ever did split up that’s where I’d go next. He asked me more questions, like if i had other women. Damn he’s intuitive! I couldn’t say. I didn’t want to open that can of worms. Holy shit.
There was a scene where Tim and Jennie are making love and he looks at her and asks “Where did you go just then?” As her eyes had wandered lost in thought. I too have laid there, usually in some other place in my head instead of being present. Sometimes fantasizing, other times just thinking about crap that needs to get done, and then most of the time, I’m wishing for a new friend to play with. Then you snap back into that intimate moment and feel a dull pain as you realize you left them there alone. He didn’t know it, but for that time, however long it was, you were gone. That’s when it’s the most real to me. That’s when I know I really like women, when I come back from that place in my head. He never knew I left, but I have been gone a lot. Sometimes those moments drift into my days. Watching that show is like a being “gone” too. I can see that life and I want to touch it and feel it in my hands. It’s a window into a world that I might love to live. Hopefully my world would some more normal looking people, not so damn skinny with bodies like scrawny teenage boys. In my world they would be delicious pinup thick women. You know. Curvy in all the right places. Some top heavy, some not. Some with hips and thick legs and some with petite little frames. They would certainly not all be waifs likely to be blown away in a swift gust of wind. I would love to live in that world. I wouldn’t mind having my husband be a part of it too, playing the roll of best friend and confidant. I could find him beautiful straight chicks while I would have a nice cottage with a girlfriend from time to time.
And then I snap back into reality. I’m back into this world where I look up into my lovers face as he looks down and asks “where’d you go just then?”
At least I have The L Word for now…
Here’s a great site with all the notes you ever needed on the L Word:
The L word explained