Desire


It sneaks up on me, that yearning and desire. Most of the time I can kind of push it aside and it’s just a quiet scream but lately I feel like I’m coming out of my skin. I find myself flirting with every woman I meet, hoping that I would somehow figure out if she is attracted to me at all in the span of an hour in a Zumba class before it ends and she parts ways with smiling eyes and a good bye. Or the impish woman with big eyes and tangles if brown bohemian hair… Or the workout partner whom I once had an incredible night of fun and now she runs in front me and I run after her… Both literally and figuratively. I’m a mess.
My husband pours it on and I feel worse and worse. But sometimes I just want to be loved and he gives that in spades… Ugh… So then I feel so fake. I am pretty honest about my attraction to women but I don’t know if I’m even being totally honest with myself…

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Self Discovery

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  1. Sometimes being honest with yourself is the most difficult thing of all.

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