My sunshine


Since my last post I have been a very busy beaver… Pun totally intended. I met hey beautiful muse who sings like a goddess. She is sexy as hell and I have had flirtations with her since last year. We had some fun one night at a friends house but is been left to just that so far.
In the meantime A good friend of mine has become my lover. It has only been one week but I am forever changed. She confesses to me that she has feelings for me. I feel the same way towards her as well. We are both in a good place where we do not want to leave our men yet feel the need to explore each other further.
This has awakened something in me that I just cannot explain or shrugged off for that matter. While, I am not in love with her, I do truly love her as a best friend.
And before you all start warning me and telling me to stay away from this I have been looking for this for so very long. There is no way I’m walking away from this.
I want to be a better person when I’m around her. I want to show her how much she is cared for. I feel like I’m an even better wife right now. And yes, he does know about this and has been fully supporting it. We even spoke of him finding a lover as well. I’m not afraid of that at all as I am not a jealous person at all. I relish the thought that those I love are happy and enjoying life.
I’m so motivated now to be healthier and be more honest with what I need and want. There is something extremely freeing in being true to yourself and having that honesty with those you love.
I know that this situation isn’t good for everybody especially when spouses are jealous or cannot handle that kind of open relationship.but I tell you what, it truly does help and exploring who you are.
I have to say that I am one of the few women that I know of that has a healthy sex life with their husband yet still identify as bi/lesbian. Or as my friend put it, half gay! Lol there was definitely something missing until I was with her. It was the same feeling I had in my first experience with a woman. It was if I was inhaling life with two full lungs instead of short shallow breaths…. I can’t go back from here. The sun is finally shining now.

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  1. I.love.this. I’ve been following your blog for months now, after recently coming out to my husband, who wants to stay together. I had a fling in Oct and am on the tail-end of another one, in which I fell in love with the woman, named A. Only catch is she’s married to a woman and my husband and I are in counseling to figure out this whole mixed orientation marriage thing. My whole being yearns for A. The emotional and physical were right on point. Will I ever find the love that completes me? I will keep searching until I do. This is why I love your most recent log entry – I know what it’s like to be where you are right now, after desiring it for so long, but yet scared it would never happen. It gives me hope. Please keep blogging – it’s so encouraging!!

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