I am a working artist, mother and wife exploring her sexuality. I am writing to both to reach out and reach within to find my true self. I am unsettled and melancholy but my life is not a bad one. I feel bad even complaining, but there is a part of me that is missing or squashed or something and I need to let it out. I think I am a lesbian who plays a really great straight married woman…but even that I’m not sure of. I’d rather not label right now, as they tend to get more in the way than I care to admit.
I will blog on it all, my life, my politics, science, in the bedroom and out. It’s all here, so you too can can walk with me and maybe find out a little bit more about yourself too. I’d love to hear from you. I will always respect your privacy and understand exactly what you are going through.
So keep your head high and be proud that you are taking those steps towards self discovery and love.It will be a journey, but you cannot achieve it until you take those first steps.
Flowers do not force their way with great strife. Flowers open to perfection slowly in the sun…. Don’t be in a hurry about spiritual matters. Go step by step, and be very sure.–White Eagle
honey I'm a lesbian 
I can’t tell you how my heart was pounding when I started reading your blog and realized I’m not alone. Thank you for following me, and writing with such humor and straighforwardness. (Is that a word? Probably not.)
You are definitely not alone. Check out Askjoanne.net.
I love your blog. I’m so glad I found you. Your writing certainly gives me hope and encouragement.
Thank you for following me. You’ve inspired me to continue my journey through writing, therapy, and whatever else comes my way. Good luck on your journey as well.
It’s nice to meet you, can’t wait to read more about you.
Thank you for following me. I always feel a bit surprised that people read my blog.
Honey,
Thank you for your willingness to be so vulnerable. You are my voice in my darkest moments of isolation. I turn to you when the silence is too overwhelming.
Thank you thank you,
Audrey
Thank you. That means alot to me. If you ever need to vent or share, you can in the comments. No one knows who you are and you canshare what is overwhelming to you. I was scared at first when I started this blog, but now I feel so empowered. I have met many amazing people like us, who are going through some monumental change in thier life.
We just need to remember not to look to far ahead, but just focus on today. Focus on being true to who you are today and each day from here on. It doesn’t have to be big, just a little sparkle will do. But as you do it, your confidence will grow. I hope that I can be here to help. If there’s anything you thing I could also be doin, please let me know.
I know exactly how you feel. Keep your head, keep moving forward and sparkle!
_Honey
I am a 16 year old girl and I am just learning about myself, I feel as though reading your blog makes me feel like I don’t have to be someone the world sees as normal and right because who the hell is? Your blog has given me the courage to release myself and be my natural free spirited self. Thank you so much and if i may say so my self – You go girl! 🙂
You make this all worth it! Be who you are inside and don’t apologize for it. When I was graduating High School I had a girl who was kinda snobby, say “You know, I totally respect and admire you.” I asked why. She responded “Because you were always yourself 100 percent and no one could take that away from you.”
That comment stuck with me through the years because I really did follow my heart and stick to to who I was in High school. As you get older, you start to forget or you try to please people. I lost who I was along the way, and had an idea that that would happen.
Make sure you follow your heart and do what’s best for you. You will never regret listening to your inner voice. I am so happy that my blog is helping you to find your voice. Keep going and know that you are never alone.
I nominated you for the beautiful blogger award. I thinks o many people can identify with what you’re going through, even though you often feel alone:
http://jenthewallflower.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/beautiful-blogger-award/
It is brave and courageous to take that journey to you that might take you away from the you that you’ve come to know, that everyone else thinks they know.
Remember to breathe and when it feels tricky, to take one step at a time. Or a leap of faith. You’ll know which. And even though it’s sometimes a solitary process that labyrinth walk toward your ever-changing self, you will find along the way that you’re not alone.
I just wanted to take a minute to let you know that you’re never alone in your “closet”. It is a brave thing that you are doing in trying to discover your true self. While I am out and openly gay to society, it is still a struggle on a daily basis. I have grown used to the stares and whispered comments when I walk into a store. I have been asked to leave bathrooms because people think that I am a boy. But, in the end, being true to yourself is the only path that will give you true happiness. It is not the same path for everyone, and everyone comes to their own decisions in their own ways. But just never think that you’re alone. You will eventually figure out what your inner self desires. And one day you will have the courage to be who you were truly meant to be. And when that day comes, you will have the support of many people; more than you could ever imagine. Just never give up hope. It’ll come.
Thank you for liking my post (Knowing the Need). I don’t get on here much and post mostly from my phone so I am glad that I was able to take some time over holiday to say Thank you and see what you had to say. 🙂 I would love to hear your thoughts on the piece. 🙂 Wishing you a happy new year!
We have much in common …married and leaning lesbian…and I am glad I stumbled on your blog. Have you stumbled on mine at http://alesbiankiss2desire.blogspot.com ?
I’ve been perusing your blog for the better part of an hour and restraining myself from over-liking/commenting lest I appear stalkerish. I dig your style, your openness, the variety of topics you tackle and the occasional steamy bits. I may have a little crush on you …
Thanks, it’s my diary in the sky. I really like your blog. Your an excellent writer.in the short amount time I’ve had to read it, I especially like the post about your parents cleaning your room. I would have barricaded the door and called them from inside. The only way they would have gotten me out was with a SWAT team and that guy that talks you down, usually played by Denzel Washington.
I would be played by Scarlet Johanson or Jessica Biel….mmmm Jessica…. Oops…. I digress. So thanks for the follow. Can’t wait to read more of your blog too.
-Honey
P.S. love your pen name, makes me wish I had come up with something more clever, perhaps you could make one up for me?
Yeah, I still haven’t quite recovered from the trauma of the parent-sex toy episode *shudder*
I had the good fortune off seeing Scarlet in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when I was in NY last X-mas. She spent most of the play wearing nothing but a slip and has the most amazing ass EVER.
I had another blog that I had to abandon due to a stalker situation where I wrote as Urethra Franklin. I’d suggest that one, but it’s used and you’d run the risk of my psycho running across you. So for a nomme de plume off the top of my head, how does Muffy Tunginpuss strike you?
Wow, our stories are very similar. My heart hurts so much I can hardly breathe, but I can’t seem to find the courage to leave. I’m terrified of parenting three young children alone, and ripping my family apart.
It’s so scary to go through this, especially in the beginning, but it does get better. I am fortunate to have a strong core of friends who support me no matter what, a husband I can be pretty damn honest with and a place to vent my frustrations when all else fails.
Find your rocks in your life, those that have your back, and let them help you be true to who you are in whatever stage that is, for as long as it takes. There is no set time to “come out.” Just know that you breathe easier when you can be true to yourself, in whatever form that takes. It is scary, but sometimes liberation means flying when you didn’t realize all this time you already had the wings, it just took courage to use them.
Hi Mrs. Honey, you have contacted me before i told u my story, i have a serious question though. im doing a school project and im making a LGBT awarenwss site, and i was wondering, if it is okay with you, if i may have your permission to create a link to your page on mine.?? please.??
You can definitely link to my page. I also have a ton of references on my home page I think. There are some great blogs listed along with helplines and support sites. Hope this helps. Good luck on your project lady! Hugs!
Honey I’m so glad we connected a couple of years ago when I was going thru what I affectionately call my “crazy time”. It was nice to connect to someone else going thru a similar crazy time. It’s also nice to be able to say I’m on “the other side” and the happiest I have been in my 47 years on this planet. I’ve discovered that inner peace I was searching for. And now I’m free to be me. Here’s to everyone else knowing that freedom. It’s not an easy road but finding the true you is the best gift you can ever give to yourself. Here’s to you finding you.
Hi, I resonate closely to journeybesideme. I’m 48 and I am finally very comfortable in knowing and accepting my true self. I’ve had ups and downs but I am finally happy and proud to be who I am. That is the most important part, acceptance of self. It is truly a wonderful sense of freedom.
I wrote you a really long comment on what had happened with your girlfriend, or whom you hoped would be your girlfriend. It didn’t post. Too long?
I could feel how hard it hit you, because I have been there. I hope you are getting the support you need and you are able to carry on in life.
Take care.
No, honestly I have just been so caught up in life that I haven’t blogged in forever. I responded and I hope life is treating you well.
Honey… I hope you have a truly awesome Mother’s Day.